Friday, April 3, 2009

Deep Gene Pools


Ever meet those seemingly perfect families? Father is usually a pilot for a major airline, CEO of a fortune 500 company or state senator. Mom gets to stay home and take the kids to their soccer games, baseball games & dance practices. Their kids always say ‘yes mamn’ when asked to please use their ‘inside voice’ and the child actually does what she’s asked in immediate response to mom’s calm still voice; communicating like one’s favorite grade school teacher.

The children are never seen out in public wearing dirty tees or with snotty noses. No, their designer polo shirts with crisp white tee shirts underneath are always sparkling clean. They all seem to go to private schools and make straight A’s. Everyone likes them and they like everyone they meet, genuinely, no snobbery to be found.

I want so much to hate these people, but can’t find anything within their perfectness to dislike. I call it the Mary Poppins syndrome. My sister in law is one of these people and I love her dearly. She once ran the most prestigious school in our city; a brilliant person with a heart of gold. I want so badly to find something to dislike about her, but there’s simply no flaws to be found. She’s patient with my devil spawn child. Loves him, molds him and makes him a better person (and me as well).

Meeting and knowing people like this can make one have a pity party real fast and although I come from Tennessee, I’d never admit to coming from a ‘Shallow Gene Pool’. No, the river doesn’t run deep here, but the waters are at least navigable. The faces in my family are relatively symmetrical. We have all our fingers, toes and yes, even teeth! No one ever married or as far as I know even kissed their cousin; not that any one would admit anyway (which is something to be said all on its own).

Most in my family and most families I meet fall in the ‘Middlin' Gene Pool’. We have average jobs with average incomes. Our kids are good at sports and do well in school, but aren’t slated for greatness unless they really apply themselves. Distinction doesn’t come naturally for us, but the potential is there.

Our kids have been known to throw it down on the floor at Wal-Mart because that’s the nature of the people who shop there. As parents, we sometimes lose our tempers during those events as we muscle our way through the self check out lane, in fear of losing our place in line. We’ve been known to feed our kids Chicken Nuggets without guilt because we’re just too darn tired to cook up the nutritional meal. In short, our lives are just too real for reality and it’s easy to look at the Deeps with wanted contempt, but knowing it’s not their fault they are so perfect.

I had a patient once that obviously came from the Deep Gene Pool category. He retired at age 50 from the Pharmaceutical industry. He flies his personal plane everywhere he goes. Has three sons; one slated for professional baseball, one is completely creative and musically talented and the last is on his way toward becoming an Olympic diver. The man was a great conversationalist and I wanted to spend all afternoon talking with him in awe of his seemingly perfect family and life.

However, as I sat at his bedside noting he was there because of a recent liver transplant, aging and nearing the end of his days. I came to realize, NO ONES LIFE IS PERFECT. We all have our crises and crosses to bear. No one escapes the reality of every day living. Everyone’s kids blow up at some point. We all have our embarrassing moments. And while the Deeps do have a seemingly perfect life, one has to remember that it’s only SEEMINGLY PERFECT. For some the flaws and trials are just not as obvious.

4 comments:

  1. Wonderful thoughts on the "big picture." So often we look across the fence and think the other side has it so much better. When in all reality somebody is probably on the other side of that fence looking at us and thinking the same thing.

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  2. That is so true Tima! Grass is always greener.Sometime though, I'd be happy with just the illusion of perfection... just saying.

    Thanks for stopping by and reading!

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  3. I was from a family across the fence, that would be viewed as comfortable. I have not spoken to my father for 2 years. I am 22 years old. Because I turned out small, and could never be a football star like he was, he pretty much ignored me.

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  4. It's never too late to mend that relationship Terry. My parents were never what I'd have chosen, nor I to them surely. But now that they are gone, I have come to appreciate them so much more. They did their best; that's how I have come to accept it all. Good luck and thanks for stopping by again.
    ~ peace ~

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